


Horsing Around

by HomestuckEpilogueApologist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Ass Play, Gangbang, Multi, Oral Sex, Pegging, Robot Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:00:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24818008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HomestuckEpilogueApologist/pseuds/HomestuckEpilogueApologist
Summary: Commission from two horny motherfuckers. Equius relieves a lot of stress using some long-forgotten creations.
Relationships: Nepeta Leijon/Equius Zahhak
Kudos: 9





	Horsing Around

The sound of whirring machinery and the occasional tear of metal echoes through the halls of a large, lonely hive. Deep within the Minotaurian chambers, an Indigoblood slaves over yet another creation, a nondescript humanoid machine built for the sole purpose of combat. As the final panel is slipped into place, the machine hums to life, and it's progenitor steps back.

It simply sits, awaiting it's first command. And the creator supplies it quickly. With a hoarse voice spoken through broken and chipped teeth, the first and last registered action the machine will take is spoken. "Strife."

Springing into action, with surprising acrobatic prowess, the machine attacks with intent to kill. Its creator responds by stepping backwards and throwing his tools to the ground, preparing for the coming attack. The machine grabs for his arm in an attempt to stop a retort, but is thrown off by a twist of the shoulder and a sudden left hook to the steel jaw. It reciprocates quickly, grappling the legs of its creator and knocking him to the ground. 

The battle continues with blows exchanged for nearly an hour, moving from one end of the room to the other, knocking over bionic limbs and assorted crushed objects that could once be identified, but are no longer as such. In the same split second, the combatants decide to end their brawl, with the creator going for a final punch to the chest to completely destroy his robotic gladiator. As he winds and throws the jab, it's suddenly dodged, surprising him enough to open up a window of opportunity for the steel aggressor.

The robotic sparring partner brings its fist down onto the face of its creator, causing the fashionable pair of sunglasses on his face to crack and splinter as the metal fist collides with the Indigo's nose. A spray of blood coats his lips and dribbles down his chin, eliciting a cry of rage and a violent reaction, the Indigo grabbing his creation and tearing it to shreds for daring to manage besting him even slightly. Heaving heavy breaths from the physically taxing battle and his boiling rage, he exits quickly.

The sound of creation and subsequent destruction have been replaced with huffing and the tap of shoes on stone. The door to an unoccupied bedroom slams open, and the Indigo steps inside. He quickly takes a towel from the nightstand, wiping off the blood and tossing it aside. When the anger finally leaves him, he spies several notifications on his nearby husktop.

They would appear to be messages from the Ceruleanblood living adjacent to his hive. The Indigo silently grows slightly more angry, his feelings towards the fellow blueblood that of "weariness" followed immediately by "incredible distaste", mostly due to her less-than-graceful attitude. Reluctantly, he responds to her.

  
arachnidsGrip [AG] has begun trolling centaursTesticle [CT]

AG: Hey Equius  
AG: Heeeeeeeey  
AG: Did one of your murder8ots finally kill you?  
CT: D--> That is a baseless accusation  
AG: Are you sure? I could hear you screaming from here.  
CT: D--> I have no idea what you are referring to  
CT: D--> Please mind your own business  
AG: Don't play dum8, you got your ass handed to you again.  
CT: D--> You are insufferable sometimes, why do you even care  
AG: 8ecause you're gonna die, and it's going to. 8e hilarious 8ecause I told you so?  
CT: D--> What does it matter anyhoo, I'm stronger than you'll ever be  
AG: Says the fetishist who lets himself get fucked up by his own ro8ots.  
AG: You still sweat when the clown does literally anything, right?  
CT: D--> Don't forget your caste, Cerulean  
CT: D--> Or who built that arm you use oh I don't know every day  
AG: Just remember to 8ring your towels when you decide to live up to those words!  
AG: Talk later, have fun masturb8ing to the thought of facepaint and sopor stench.

arachnidsGrip [AG] has ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT]  


If it was remotely possible, the Equius' face would be beet red from the pure anger. He nearly crushes his keyboard from the rage, using every ounce of his strength to keep himself from going apeshit. He fails miserably, proceeding to give up trying to not lose it, crushing his husktop and tearing the monitor apart. He tosses it across the room, and it strikes the closet door.

For a few minutes, he simply sits there, shaking and attempting to not crush his desk next. When the storm finally calms, he stands, and goes to collect the pieces of the monitor, pausing while crouching to gather the crushed plastic and shattered glass. It would appear that the closet door has swung open slightly. For a brief second, he appears slightly confused, before the memory of his particular skeletons surfaces.

Some deliberation is felt within Equius. He doesn't exactly feel a need to bring out his old machines, created nearly two sweeps ago in order to help with his very… specific social issues. Then again, he's been suffering against his own creations, and the conversations with Serket have grated on him harder than ever. He simply considers for a second, before deciding he could use the help.

He enters the closet, shuffling around and feeling for the objects he desires. One by one, he brings out four humanoid machines, similar to his sparring partners, but much more detailed. The four are charming facsimiles of Aradia Megido, Sollux Captor, Tavros Nitram, and Equius himself. He takes the robotic copy of himself, and turns it on. Within seconds, it's active, unlivingly staring at its surroundings with a completely fabricated "anger heave" in its movements. Equius speaks to it softly. "Good evening, Equiusbot. What is your directive?" In a flat, uninterested voice, it replies. "I exist to simulate Equius Zahhak through the use of superior machine learning." 

The real Equius remembers for a moment how useless the cybernetic doppelganger turned out to be, as it amounted to an unengaging personalized Furby with no value other than being a doorstop. He simply tells it to stand in the corner and be useless. It complies. He moves on to the Solluxbot. He never much cared for the Goldblood, feeling as though he filled his place in the social order, with no need to engage him. However, the mostly accurate simulated personality of his mechanical counterpart gave a good conversation when needed. 

Exactly what he needs, it would seem. Even though the Goldblood was quite a few rungs lower in Caste, Equius had gleaned some valuable tips for working out intelligence algorithms from him. The robot now before him had thankfully been able to simulate that knowledge fairly well. Before long, it's booted up as well. Equius engages first. "Solluxbot, do you have any suggestions regarding the recent rise in mechanically defective sparring partners?" In the nasally voice of the real Captor, albeit with a slight metallic tinge, the machine responds. "Have you con2iidered a defect iin creator, rather than creatiion?" 

How's it do that? Don't think too hard about it. Not even Equius knows, but that's besides the point. He's two too angry at the suggestion that he could be the problem. With a swift kick, the legs of the Solluxbot bend inwards. It doesn't react. Equius approaches and stomps down on it before he even considers why, breaking it in two and causing it to stop working permanently. So much for a calming conversation. He rears up for a second stomp, but notices something strange in the lower half of the machine. 

Wiring and rubber that certainly has no place there. He considers for a moment that someone could be fiddling around with his machines, before it dawns on him what it is. He completely forgot that phase of his creative process. Simply disgusting. Absolutely debaucherous. How absolutely uncouth. He must immediately dispose of this display of sin. He quickly takes the two halves, goes to a window, and prepares to throw the pieces away.

...And then a thought occurs to him. Did he add these features to the eleven others? Realistically, some are only "friends of friends", whatever the Troll counterpart may be. Would he really do such a thing? He needs his doubts quelled. Equius drops the two halves of Solluxbot to the ground, and begins to consider the two robots currently placed in the room. A machine in the likeness of Tavros Nitram, the Bronzeblood with the broken legs. The other is a much more intricate and detailed mechanical body in the visage of Aradia Megido. He wouldn't dare touching that one. It's pure, darn it, he won't soil it so wantonly.

Equius approaches the Tavrosbot. He stops for a moment, lost on how to actually do what he originally intended with these creations. With some resignation present in his tone, he commands the machine. "Disrobe?" For a moment, it doesn't do anything at all, and Equius is surprised by the disappointment he feels. Before he can examine these feelings, the steel-plate pantaloons of the Tavrosbot fall to individual pieces, revealing realistically shaped legs, and a rubber pelvic area. It is indeed anatomically accurate. For all intents and purposes, this robot has functioning rubber genitalia. 

And is basically useless, because it's almost the lowest of Lowbloods, and he could never derive pleasure from a Lowblood, unless he decided to. Equius tosses the machine out, and moves back into the closet, bringing out a grand total of eight more constructs. Kanaya, Karkat, Nepeta, Terezi, Vriska, Gamzee, Eridan, Feferi. The names of friends, friends of friends, and one sea dwelling asshole. Equius is ready for the next few hours to ruin his carpet.

He begins with the Jadeblood, for posterity. Why not start at the bottom, it is absolutely not so the author of this fiction can milk as many words out of this as possible. After speaking the command and having the machine reveal its more appealing bits, Equius observes it carefully. Two perky (rubber) breasts of smaller than average size, and an admittedly finely sculpted ass. Equius doesn't dwell on how accurate his creations are, because his male biology has already gotten worked up. 

Quickly finding himself in a state of undress, he doesn't waste time working his rapidly hardening tentabulge. He parts the soft silicone ass of the Kanayabot, and places his member between the beckoning cheeks. In no time, he's rapidly thrusting between them, panting loudly in his own world of pleasure. He doesn't bother holding back, enjoying the act to such an extent that he doesn't care to conserve his energy. Before long, he can feel himself begin twitching, ready to finish. Seconds before he does, he pulls back, and slams into the automatically lubricated ass of the Kanayabot, pumping his ejaculate inside with a hearty groan. 

And he's not nearly done. Disregarding his usual prim and proper attitude, he pulls out and pushes the machine to the side. He scans the rest, and decides on… The Nepetabot. This one has been built with a rubber mouth, it seems, so Equius understands his original intentions rather quickly. He grabs it, and a strange clank is heard somewhere within his hive. He doesn't even notice, placing his thumb on the chin of the recognizable but constructed face of his Moirail. He grabs both sides of its head, and places the tip of his still-sensitive tentabulge on the machines' lips, pushing inside and gyrating madly against the tongue of the Nepetabot.

In no time at all he's begun pushing his entire length into its mouth, making good use of its simulated salivation. He relishes in the sensation, not caring enough to be gentler with the frail machine. Watchful eyes in a nearby vent go unnoticed, an olive blush clearly visible even through the darkness of the ventilation. Someone picked a bad time to visit. Equius continues, none the wiser, until he once again nears completion. His wild thrusts grow more unpredictable and even more so violent. All in one moment, he pushes himself to the hilt, reaching the back of the Nepetabots throat, literally cumming hard enough to blow a hole through the metal nape of its neck, the new weakness causing him to accidentally rip the head off completely and fall backwards.

He lands hard enough to knock several of the still robots off their feet, and unlatch the locked vent, causing the figure within to fall inside the room. For a moment, the two trolls lock eyes as this hilarious pratfall ensues. Once the second hits the ground, everything is silent, until she speaks, still blushing hard enough to blind a weak-humored individual. ":⌇⌇ I'm jj-ust gonna go…", she says, scrambling out too quickly for the reader to understand how she speaks in emoticons. Equius just nods, too shocked to speak and too horny to care enough. After the poorly timed visit ends, he gets back up, disposing of the now ruined Nepetabot. 

He views them once more, now choosing from five, not counting the pitch-obsessed sea dweller as a legitimate option. Viewing the usually insufferable scream dwarf, Equius finds a fascination within himself. He never cared much for Vantas' personality, but what about his assets? He speaks the command to disrobe, and the important parts reveal themselves.

Oh, no. He gave the Angry Hobgoblin a massive bulge. At first disgusted with himself, he quickly feels a sense of interested pique. He places the tip of the silicone tentabulge at the entrance to his ass, and gives the machine a long-winded command to carefully begin thrusting. It complies, entering Equius with concerning ease (what a slut) and beginning it's Fuck Parameters™. Shuddering, Equius doubts the idea he's had, before the machine begins its work completely, and he wholeheartedly gets into it. He works his own bulge slowly at first, unsure of what would happen if he asked it to pick up the pace. He goes for it, all or nothing, telling the machine to double its speed. The mechanical thrusts become more intense, Equius' pleasure becoming equally as intense, working himself even quicker. 

Before long, he's told it to double once again, the machine completely filling him, Equius uncharacteristically cursing under his breath between moans. As he gets close to climax once more, he tells it to go at full speed, suddenly thrusting with a force and speed only possible in steel hydraulics. Equius is going mad, braced against the floor with his forearm and madly working his still-gloved hand against his tentacles furiously. A feature not expected whatsoever activates in the machine, filling Equius with simulated genetic material as his own violent orgasm comes, painting the floor beneath him in sticky, slightly blue strands. He shakily asks it to disengage, and it does, collapsing atop him like a drained lover.

He pushes it off and stands on buckling legs a minute or so afterwards. He collects himself, and views the now pool of five. Indecision fills him, not being able to choose, before he gets an incredible idea. He takes the two robots resembling Terezi Pyrope and his neighbor, Vriska Serket, telling them both to disrobe. They comply, revealing his past design fully. After about five minutes of a single highly complicated command string, he lays on the floor, moving them along with him. With movements expected of a six year old sex robot (no, not like that), the Vriskabot places it's breasts around Equius' bulge, working them against him and moving it's chest up and down in deliberate strides. The Terezibot places it's mouth around the tip, using its tongue to stimulate any tentacles not enveloped by silicone tiddy. 

Equius moans deeply, allowing them to do their work while he rests after being ravaged by the Karkatbot. The rapid-fire, almost endless stream of pleasure has quickly melted away his stress and anxiety. The Vriskabot picks up the pace, and the Terezibot tongue-assaults his sensitive areas with more force than before. He's twitching and wildly gyrating once again in no time, very much enjoying what he's commanded. Before he finishes, he commands the Vriskabot to copy the actions of the Terezibot, both now working their mouths along his tentashaft and occasionally taking it into their mouths. He gets closer once again, and makes one final command to the pair. The Vriskabot resumes her original command, and the Terezibot copies it. Both robots press their tits together, working them along Equius' throbbing member in tandem, quickly causing him to cum, covering them both in his bountiful seed. 

After he focuses once again and adds the two to his Fucked Pile (now consisting of Kanayabot, Karkatbot, the headless body of Nepetabot, Terezibot, and Vriskabot), he moves on to the final three. The Highbloods. It's quite daunting, staring down three replicas of the genetically superior. Especially the 'clown', as most call him. Equius couldn't deface even a replica of him, as the Highblood tends to leave him breathless. However, there is the Sea dweller. His violet blood is wasted. Therefore, Equius decides, there is absolutely nothing wrong with fucking the Eridanbot up the rubber ass. Which he quickly prepares to do, but not before including the Gamzeebot. He places his uninitiated mouth on the simulated tentabulge of the Gamzeebot, and as he works his way inside the robo-fuckboy, begins to fellate the mechanical Highblood. 

He gets into the rhythm fairly easily, pushing the Highblood deeper in as he pulls out of the Sea dweller, and vice versa. That awkward domination fetish of his is doing wonders for his sexual gratification at the moment, as one would assume. He continues ramming the Eridanbot with everything he has, and gratefully sucking off the Gamzeebot, getting as much pleasure from the tandem debauchery than every other act of the night combined. Once the faux bulge of the Gamzeebot begins twitching, he also nears completion, and with one final thrust, plows the deepest he can into the Eridanbot, blasting the silicone flesh with another batch of bucket batter. The Gamzeebot also 'finishes', painting Equius' throat with viscous simulated seed. He pulls off, coughing from the unexpected amount of it, and pulls out of Eridan a moment after.

He takes a few minutes to cleanse his palate with some milk, before getting back to his deeds. It would be highly embarrassing to be choking through fake semen for the rest of the night, after all. It's softened slightly by the thought of it being due to the Gamzeebot, but being choked by the Highblood is an unentertainable thought nonetheless, no matter how much he may enjoy it. After the second double team of the night, he's left with one more closet pleasure robot. A replica of the Heiress herself, Feferi Peixes. Equius considers for a second that fucking a replica of the Heiress might actually be illegal, but so would fucking a replica of any Highblood, so the line of thought falls apart with some ease.

He feels for some simple, one-on-one lovemaking. After all, the various acts he's went through in the past few hours have climbed in complication and depravity, but not once has he engaged in some normal sexual intercourse. He asks the Feferibot to disrobe, and it complies. It follows an average looking body shape, but one that is desirable to most. Equius takes the machine, laying it on the floor in a place not yet tainted by cum or lubricant. He gives the construct a series of commands, placing himself overtop it. It wraps it's legs around him, placing it's arms around his neck. The motionless face is a tad creepy, but he can't see it very well through the sunglasses anyway. He goes to the machines' rubber entrance, marveling at how real the lubricated tentacles feel. Slowly, he pushes inside.

He gets to thrusting, gently and lovingly at first, simply enjoying the sensation of the metal mannequin wrapped around him. For a moment, he yearns for the touch of an actually living being, but settles for this rather quickly. He speeds up, grinding against the soft, textures walls of the machines' insides, moaning with every other push, and breathing heavily. In minutes, he's pounding with everything he has left, almost refusing to acknowledge his imagining this being with another being. He keeps it up, growing closer to orgasm every second, feeling deeply the machine underneath him.

With a final thrust and deep throated moan, he shoots the last of his ejaculate into the machine, pumping every last drop. He pulls out with a spine-chilling shudder, dropping beside it and breathing his energy back in. He readjusts his glasses, brushing the sweat-caked hair from his face. His thoughts are mostly empty, drained from his nearly four hours inside various machines, or having various machines inside himself. Equius doesn't bother collecting his thoughts for some time. When he finally does, he wipes himself down with a towel, and finds his underwear. He doesn't pay much mind to the still active Equiusbot in the corner, because he's a cuck. 

He exits the room, deciding to clean up in the morning. In record time, he builds a new combatant. His confidence carries him through it, even without his usual energy. He activates it, and engages a strife.

Without a single slip up, it's completely destroyed.

And all it took was fucking the shit out of a bunch of robots.


End file.
